If I told you that you looked stupid not visiting this blog, would you believe me?

Hey guys, I'm back, and in case you are wondering who I am, I am 16 Bit, but now I am Captain Picard. Don't know who Captain Picard is? Go watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, you'll find out.

...Anyhow, since we are all busy with school, (I think) the amount of posts has almost completely flat lined, and we hope to solve that...

Because I got Super Mario 3D Land.

Now you will bask in the glory of my epicosity, and you will also wait until whenever-the-hell-I-feel-like-it for a review.

Polls

I made another poll for all of you to know. Only the cool people can click "my fist and break both disc"

Minecraft City

I have lots of time on my hands on certain days so I thought about installing Single Player Commands mod and builtng a city. I have an emergency response team ready and I built their headquarters. Here's a look at the main lobby and counter.
This is the detective's office. He has the best name
This is Detective Poopenstanky Mcpolicemanson's office
This is the doctor's office
The patients go on the bed, put their stuff in the chest and eat cake for instant health.
This is the emergency team sleeping place, bunk beds for space.
The top of the emergency tower, it is a lookout over the city. In the corner is netherrack, light it in emergency like a creeper take over.

Minecraft Livestream

Probably none of you know of this, but PortalFTW and I did a livestream last night, of both of us playing in a private minecraft server I hosted (no, you can't join, don't ask, random viewer. I'm a jerk, I know). Here's the link to that, and have fun!

http://www.livestream.com/nullreviewnotfound/video?clipId=pla_23ad632d-91ce-4ff4-9c20-6b5e27cc96a1&utm_source=lslibrary&utm_medium=ui-thumb

The Quest for McQuack

Not only does this video feature absolutely mind-blowing minecraft parkour, but it also features awesome music. The DuckTales moon theme, to be precise. Be amazed...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huuidZ3tBok&feature=player_embedded

Team Fortress Two Review

Team Fortress Two or TF2 is the sequel to Team fortress classic, if you don't know. I never played Team fortress classic but good games shouldn't rely on the prequels for support. So, without further a due, here is my short review.

The graphics of TF2 is amazing thanks to the many updates that enhance many things. They are the best. The cartoonist look to all of the characters gives a charm to them to make them unforgettable. Nothing is out of place, except the few bugs but they don't get in the way of the game.

The weapons are exciting with special things for all of them. No two weapons are a like. Some are community made so more can come. Only certain weapons randomly picked up. This makes for annoying doubles taking up space. But because certain things are picked up, crafting becomes necessity in getting the weapon you want. So, the doubles are helpful. On the topic of crafting, items are very nice things to get. Besides weapons, you can get hats, badges or things that do things in games. They are exciting to get and fun to add to your character. A tedious thing about the items is that there is limited space. You can only get 50 items unless you buy the big backpack. But it's $5.00, it depends on how rich you are. Somethings can't be crafted unless you buy something. A really annoying item is the Mann.Co supply crates that requires $0.50 to open.

I can't really say anything about the sound. They both whatever they come with but I don't play that much with sound. When I do play with sound it is great. The dialogue of the characters fit and are hilarious.

The gameplay is typical for it's genre. Multi player first person shooter. The typical awesomeness from Valve. The achievements and weapons keep making come back so there's always something to do. There are nine classes: scout, soldier, pyro, demoman, heavy, engineer, medic, spy and sniper. Each with their every own special abilities and weapons. So, once you're bored of a class simply switch.

All in all, Team Fortress Two is a game like no other with funny dialogue and characters. Stunning visuals and sound along with achievements and weapons making doing nothing extremely hard.

I give this 99/100 Sandvichs because the small bugs here and there plus the updates where no server works.

We're back, Partly

The blog is back and running but a slow pace. We'll need you to help us with feedback and ideas. Right now I am all out of ideas for blog post. I already posted how to contact me so don't expect me to post it in this post.

If you follow this blog then you should know I lost my PSN account to some bureaucratic system. So, I replaced all my Playstation ideas with PC ideas. So, I won't be on PSN at all and I'll be on steam or random MMOs and what not. I got Portal and Team Fortress 2 so expect a review by me to come up soon. Remember, e mail me ideas for posts or complaints.

P.S. Fiftybottles, your other post is dead. I have a hand in it.

Freebies and Betas

So, as I'm sure you ALL know by now, the Battlefield 3 Open Multiplayer Beta comes out next week, and ANYBODY CAN PLAY IT! Hence the "open" before the "multiplayer". Oh, and if you pre-ordered (or do decided to pre-order before that time), you get access TWO DAYS EARILER. SO WHOAH. And since I use Linux, I must first wait to see if it'll even work first under Wine with the Beta. Then, and only then, may I buy it. Yay.

Next week also marks the release of The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Anniversary Edition on the DSiWare store and eShop. So, anybody with a DSi, DSi XL, or 3DS can get this game ABSOLUTELY FREE from September 28th up until February 20th. SO YEAH THAT'S AWESOME. It's also going to feature some anniversary levels, which are basically throwbacks to the original NES, SNES, and GameBoy Zelda titles, one of which I reviewed a while back. And since it's free, I'm sure WAY MORE people will be buying it this time around. Which is awesome, because I actually happen to own the original cartridge, WHICH NOBODY FREAKING PLAYED WITH ME. But that was mainly because they didn't have it. So damn.

Anyways, that's it in the way of Freebies and Betas this week.

YES IT'S A WEEKLY THING NOW SHUT UP

Do a barrel roll! (in 3D) + My formal apology for Summer Laziness

First off, I want to apologize to those who follow our blog, however few people you may be, for the lack of posts over the summer months. This was mostly caused by our unfamiliarity with being away from each other over a long period of time, which hasn't happened in the life of the blog.

So, anyway, over the weekend I picked up my preorder of Star Fox 64 3D, the second of hopefully many more N64 remakes for the 3DS. So I'm using this opportunity to try my new review style.

-Control 5/5-100%

Generally, the controls are relatively easy to get used to. Since I am new to Star Fox, I'm not familiar with the original control scheme, so I am not one to judge its similarity or lack thereof to the original game.

-Content/Singleplayer 4/5-80%

This game, despite it's many routes to the finish, has a limited supply of content, mostly because of the fact it is more to be considered as a re-release, more than a remake, despite the small changes that were made content-wise.

-Multiplayer 4/5-80%

This game has exceptional multiplayer, be it you face Falco, Peppy and Slippy, or your friends turned rivals this game has an amazing multiplayer experience, because you all have to admit that bombing Slippy is something you've always wanted to do. The only lacking feature of multiplayer is the absence of Wi-Fi.

-Graphics 7/5-140%

This game has amazing graphics, and in 3D, they will blow your mind so much, you will give them 2 bonus points for how amazing they are, and that is all there is to it.

-Overall 20/20-100%

What this game lacks in multiplayer and content, it fully makes up for in graphics. So in this easy to control-content lacking-Wi-Fi lacking- amazing looking game, you will find a glory that will most likely reboot the Star Fox series, possibly leading to games on the 3DS and Wii-U. Now, we will look at Nintendo to re-release Mario Kart 64, Super Smash Bros, and TLoZ: Majora's Mask

Retro Review: Quarth (Game Boy)

Let me get started by saying this: I know, I have been away from the blagospehere, or blagoblag, or blogonet, or whatever the hell you want to call it, for quite a while now. But hey, I'm back in business baby, and I have a retro review flying your way and most likely annoying the hell out of you, because well, that's just my style.

If you aren't interested in reading the whole review, just skip to the bottom to read my final thoughts. There's ice cream in it for you if

you read the whole thing though. I swear.

Quarth was originally released in November of 1989 as an arcade game, and was later ported to the Game Boy in on June 16 a year later, and the MSX2 in Japan a year later. The game is known as "Black Hole" outside of Japan, which means that I myself actually have my hands on the original Japanese cartridge, and I didn't even know it before looking it up. Hmm, neato. I guess that makes me lucky then?

Oh, and more thing before me get started; the cartridge that I have is apparently published by Ultra Games, but all the labels and all the box art I can find online says the game is published by Konami. I have no idea...

Now, I'm not gonna lie, you've probably never heard of Quarth, Black Hole, or whatever you want to call it. I don't blame you. Hell, the only reason I own it is because it came with the copy of Metroid 2 I purchased for $2.50 as a free game pak. But the question is, are you really missing out on anywthing? Is Quarth a hidden gem? Is it worth picking up, or spending the money on, even if that money is simply $2.50? Well, to put it quite simply, hell no!

The basic idea of Quarth is pretty simple. You shoot blocks at shapes descending upon you to create rectangle and squares. Upon doing so, the shapes disappear. You can speed up the drop speed of the shapes, much like in Tetris, and there are also a variety of power-ups that can be acquired, depending on the size of the shape you "phazed" away. Now, there is a small problem with this. It's actually pretty much impossible for you to get power-ups without adding to the default shape; in other words, you can't just shoot the minimum number of blocks. You have to sometimes shoot a ridiculous number of blocks onto the shape to make it large enough, and by the time you're done doing this, you're already dead, because the shape has already hit your own damn self and triggered the "game over". And worse yet, you always seem to get the same two power-ups, even though the "power-up field", as I call it, as room for way more than just 2. And don't think that you can stack up on multiple power-ups of the same kind, because you can't. You can only hold one of each type of power-up at a time. But you know what, for me, really takes the cake with these damned power-ups!? Not only are they useless, hard to get, and just plain not worth it, but if you have more than one type of power-up, you cannot, repeat, CANNOT, change between the types. I tried every button, and I wasn't able to switch between my fast-shot or my screen-clearer. That's just freakin' ridiculous! Why would anyone ever do that!? If I need my screen clearer, I have to get rid of my fast-shot, and if I need my fast-shot, I need to get rid of my damned screen clearer! Does that make any sense to you!?

Beyond my rants on useless power-ups, this game is just plain repetitive. I found myself slightly entertained at first, shooting blocks at shapes and watching them disappear, while tapping my fingers to the kinda catchy music. And then I played for another five minutes, and I realized that, oh shit, the music loops every 30 seconds, the same exact shapes that you just destroyed and filing down yet again, and you freaking fingers are hurting because the level designers never thought to place one shape directly next to another. No, you always have to be constantly fidgeting around all over the place if you even want to think of beating this damned game. And yes, I checked, the levels are pre-defined. No random generation here folks, which makes an already grinding, aggravating, and repetitive experience all the more so!

The sound is annoying. I found myself leaving it off most of the time, and do I really need to explain why? Annoying beeps and bloops and music that loops every 30 seconds is not pretty. The graphics are nothing to show off either. I know this is GameBoy, and that you don't have much to work with when it comes to a game like this, but come on! At least give us some differently designed blocks, or some interesting ships with nice little details here or a few neat pixels over there. But no, we're looking at the same crap over and over and over, and the sip designs are uninspired and lazy.

All in all, Quarth is just not worth the price of admission, even if that price is a simple 2 dollars. It's extremely light on content, and what you do get is repetitive and boring. Stay very far away from this abomination.

I give Quarth 43 poorly-designed labels out of 100.

Boredom

If you feel bored because we didn't post much in the summer, just play the games we reviewed as good things. We will make more post once the school year comes up, Minecraft updates, or if a new system comes out. Speaking of which, the PS vita has many interesting launch games like Little Big Planet. A new Uncharted is due to appear for both the PS3 and the PS vita. Though the PS vita will appear in early in 2012. Ridge Racer is also coming out for the PS vita, so it's nice to see some 3DS titles in the PS vita lineup. So, just wait for more post.

3DS

There has been big talk of the 3DS in the last three months and sadly there is no review for it. I must say that the 3DS isn't getting a review. Before you start complaining or booing us, it wasn't my fault since I don't have a 3DS. Blame all this on 16-bit, PortalFTW, Fiftybottles, and Chillin416. That is all, you may start booing and hate the following contributors.

Nintendo 3DS Ambassador Program, 3DS Price Drop and Dumb GBA Limitations

Good news for the early adopters of the 3DS. Nintndo is allowing you to receive 10 free NES games from the eShop, before they are available to the public, as a reward for buying the 3DS early, if you connect to the eShop before midnight on August 12th (that means you are late, unless you go back in time) you are automatically registered. Now, if you don't have a 3DS,now is the time to get it if you want it, because Nintendo is dropping it's price by 80 dollars to 170$, starting August 12th. The GBA game that were also announced, which are available only to ambassadors, which are most likely coming in early December, have dumb limitations, which include no restore points, no wireless features, such as StreetPass or Spot Pass, and no sleep mode. so, the system pretty much treats itself like an original GBA, but despite these limitations, they are exclusive to you, but you still have to pay for them.

Counter-Strike 1.6 Look-Back

In honour of the recent announcement that a new Counter-Strike game is in development, I thought I'd take the time to do a short look-back on the franchise, starting with the first entry in the series, simply titled Counter-Strike.

Counter-Strike began life as a community made mod for Half-Life in 1999. It quickly became quite popular, to the point that Valve took notice of the mod themselves. They ended up ultimately buying it and improving upon what was already there, releasing the game under the name “Counter-Strike 1.6”. This is the version that many people still play to this day, which is a testament to just how well the game was designed, and ultimately this is what boosted Counter-Strike right up there, what gave the series a name and style all its own.

I have never played the original mod, and I'm not even sure if it's still available anymore. I would imagine not, seeing as how it's really a retail game now that one can buy on Steam, a service run by Valve itself. So, I'm going to spend some time talking about Counter-Strike 1.6 in this look-back.

Counter-Strike 1.6 balances what some might call realism with that whole arcadey, fast-paced, shoot-em-up kind of action. You still run fairly quickly, and the game is very similar to games such as Quake in this regard. Running around and jumping frequently will definitely keep enemy bullets from hitting you, unlike in the newer Call of Duty or Battlefield franchises. However, when a bullet hits you, you'll slow down and you won't be able to jump as high for a sort period of time. It only takes a few bullets to end your life entirely, even if you're wearing body armour, and once you're down, you won't even be able to respawn until the next round. It added a lot of tension to the experience, and it ensured that players would act as a team. Anyone who tried to go it alone without some sort of backup was a goner for sure.

For every kill that you scored, you would be awarded a short amount of money. The same goes for every round you win, in which case around $1500 is given to everyone in your team. This money can be used to purchase various kinds of weaponry, ranging from simple pistols to explosives and booming machine guns such as the AK-47. The weaponry is quite varied, and each weapon has pros and cons attached to it, but if you just stuck with buying the most expensive stuff, you usually got the best weapons available to you. One thing that I never really understood, however, was why you had to buy ammunition for your primary and secondary weapons separately. Granted, it's not a huge issue, but sometimes I would find myself purchasing a massive, one-shot-kill, super-accurate sniper rifle for myself, only to realize I didn't have enough money for ammunition. So, I was stuck running around with 5 bullets for my sniper rifle and a pistol with 25. Luckily, this problem was solved with later iterations into the series.

There are two teams in Counter-Strike; the Counter-Terrorists and the Terrorists. It's the Terrorists' job to, depending on the map you're playing on, either stop the Counter-Terrorists from rescuing the hostages or from defusing a bomb. In some cases, you also had to plant a bomb yourself. However, since you don't respawn until the next round upon dying, the rounds also have a sort of elimination aspect to them. If the CTs wipe out the Terrorists before time runs out, they win, and vice versa. It was tense and satisfying, and is still fun to this day.

Counter-Strike is an awesome game that spawned an epic series, so far with three great instalments. If you haven't already, I recommend you pick it up, and if you do, add me on Steam. My account name is the same as my Blogger name.

This has been a look-back on Counter-Strike 1.6, provided to you by Daniel “Fiftybottles” Brackenbury.

The video version has been cancelled. Counter-Strike hates me...

Minecraft Traps

I have only made the traps for the month of July. I won't make any more daily traps. I might however, make weekly traps or tips on how to handle hostile mobs. Just e mail me if you have any trouble with the creeper, spider, skeleton, of zombie population at bran_19@live.ca.