We're back, Partly

The blog is back and running but a slow pace. We'll need you to help us with feedback and ideas. Right now I am all out of ideas for blog post. I already posted how to contact me so don't expect me to post it in this post.

If you follow this blog then you should know I lost my PSN account to some bureaucratic system. So, I replaced all my Playstation ideas with PC ideas. So, I won't be on PSN at all and I'll be on steam or random MMOs and what not. I got Portal and Team Fortress 2 so expect a review by me to come up soon. Remember, e mail me ideas for posts or complaints.

P.S. Fiftybottles, your other post is dead. I have a hand in it.

Freebies and Betas

So, as I'm sure you ALL know by now, the Battlefield 3 Open Multiplayer Beta comes out next week, and ANYBODY CAN PLAY IT! Hence the "open" before the "multiplayer". Oh, and if you pre-ordered (or do decided to pre-order before that time), you get access TWO DAYS EARILER. SO WHOAH. And since I use Linux, I must first wait to see if it'll even work first under Wine with the Beta. Then, and only then, may I buy it. Yay.

Next week also marks the release of The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Anniversary Edition on the DSiWare store and eShop. So, anybody with a DSi, DSi XL, or 3DS can get this game ABSOLUTELY FREE from September 28th up until February 20th. SO YEAH THAT'S AWESOME. It's also going to feature some anniversary levels, which are basically throwbacks to the original NES, SNES, and GameBoy Zelda titles, one of which I reviewed a while back. And since it's free, I'm sure WAY MORE people will be buying it this time around. Which is awesome, because I actually happen to own the original cartridge, WHICH NOBODY FREAKING PLAYED WITH ME. But that was mainly because they didn't have it. So damn.

Anyways, that's it in the way of Freebies and Betas this week.

YES IT'S A WEEKLY THING NOW SHUT UP

Do a barrel roll! (in 3D) + My formal apology for Summer Laziness

First off, I want to apologize to those who follow our blog, however few people you may be, for the lack of posts over the summer months. This was mostly caused by our unfamiliarity with being away from each other over a long period of time, which hasn't happened in the life of the blog.

So, anyway, over the weekend I picked up my preorder of Star Fox 64 3D, the second of hopefully many more N64 remakes for the 3DS. So I'm using this opportunity to try my new review style.

-Control 5/5-100%

Generally, the controls are relatively easy to get used to. Since I am new to Star Fox, I'm not familiar with the original control scheme, so I am not one to judge its similarity or lack thereof to the original game.

-Content/Singleplayer 4/5-80%

This game, despite it's many routes to the finish, has a limited supply of content, mostly because of the fact it is more to be considered as a re-release, more than a remake, despite the small changes that were made content-wise.

-Multiplayer 4/5-80%

This game has exceptional multiplayer, be it you face Falco, Peppy and Slippy, or your friends turned rivals this game has an amazing multiplayer experience, because you all have to admit that bombing Slippy is something you've always wanted to do. The only lacking feature of multiplayer is the absence of Wi-Fi.

-Graphics 7/5-140%

This game has amazing graphics, and in 3D, they will blow your mind so much, you will give them 2 bonus points for how amazing they are, and that is all there is to it.

-Overall 20/20-100%

What this game lacks in multiplayer and content, it fully makes up for in graphics. So in this easy to control-content lacking-Wi-Fi lacking- amazing looking game, you will find a glory that will most likely reboot the Star Fox series, possibly leading to games on the 3DS and Wii-U. Now, we will look at Nintendo to re-release Mario Kart 64, Super Smash Bros, and TLoZ: Majora's Mask

Retro Review: Quarth (Game Boy)

Let me get started by saying this: I know, I have been away from the blagospehere, or blagoblag, or blogonet, or whatever the hell you want to call it, for quite a while now. But hey, I'm back in business baby, and I have a retro review flying your way and most likely annoying the hell out of you, because well, that's just my style.

If you aren't interested in reading the whole review, just skip to the bottom to read my final thoughts. There's ice cream in it for you if

you read the whole thing though. I swear.

Quarth was originally released in November of 1989 as an arcade game, and was later ported to the Game Boy in on June 16 a year later, and the MSX2 in Japan a year later. The game is known as "Black Hole" outside of Japan, which means that I myself actually have my hands on the original Japanese cartridge, and I didn't even know it before looking it up. Hmm, neato. I guess that makes me lucky then?

Oh, and more thing before me get started; the cartridge that I have is apparently published by Ultra Games, but all the labels and all the box art I can find online says the game is published by Konami. I have no idea...

Now, I'm not gonna lie, you've probably never heard of Quarth, Black Hole, or whatever you want to call it. I don't blame you. Hell, the only reason I own it is because it came with the copy of Metroid 2 I purchased for $2.50 as a free game pak. But the question is, are you really missing out on anywthing? Is Quarth a hidden gem? Is it worth picking up, or spending the money on, even if that money is simply $2.50? Well, to put it quite simply, hell no!

The basic idea of Quarth is pretty simple. You shoot blocks at shapes descending upon you to create rectangle and squares. Upon doing so, the shapes disappear. You can speed up the drop speed of the shapes, much like in Tetris, and there are also a variety of power-ups that can be acquired, depending on the size of the shape you "phazed" away. Now, there is a small problem with this. It's actually pretty much impossible for you to get power-ups without adding to the default shape; in other words, you can't just shoot the minimum number of blocks. You have to sometimes shoot a ridiculous number of blocks onto the shape to make it large enough, and by the time you're done doing this, you're already dead, because the shape has already hit your own damn self and triggered the "game over". And worse yet, you always seem to get the same two power-ups, even though the "power-up field", as I call it, as room for way more than just 2. And don't think that you can stack up on multiple power-ups of the same kind, because you can't. You can only hold one of each type of power-up at a time. But you know what, for me, really takes the cake with these damned power-ups!? Not only are they useless, hard to get, and just plain not worth it, but if you have more than one type of power-up, you cannot, repeat, CANNOT, change between the types. I tried every button, and I wasn't able to switch between my fast-shot or my screen-clearer. That's just freakin' ridiculous! Why would anyone ever do that!? If I need my screen clearer, I have to get rid of my fast-shot, and if I need my fast-shot, I need to get rid of my damned screen clearer! Does that make any sense to you!?

Beyond my rants on useless power-ups, this game is just plain repetitive. I found myself slightly entertained at first, shooting blocks at shapes and watching them disappear, while tapping my fingers to the kinda catchy music. And then I played for another five minutes, and I realized that, oh shit, the music loops every 30 seconds, the same exact shapes that you just destroyed and filing down yet again, and you freaking fingers are hurting because the level designers never thought to place one shape directly next to another. No, you always have to be constantly fidgeting around all over the place if you even want to think of beating this damned game. And yes, I checked, the levels are pre-defined. No random generation here folks, which makes an already grinding, aggravating, and repetitive experience all the more so!

The sound is annoying. I found myself leaving it off most of the time, and do I really need to explain why? Annoying beeps and bloops and music that loops every 30 seconds is not pretty. The graphics are nothing to show off either. I know this is GameBoy, and that you don't have much to work with when it comes to a game like this, but come on! At least give us some differently designed blocks, or some interesting ships with nice little details here or a few neat pixels over there. But no, we're looking at the same crap over and over and over, and the sip designs are uninspired and lazy.

All in all, Quarth is just not worth the price of admission, even if that price is a simple 2 dollars. It's extremely light on content, and what you do get is repetitive and boring. Stay very far away from this abomination.

I give Quarth 43 poorly-designed labels out of 100.

Boredom

If you feel bored because we didn't post much in the summer, just play the games we reviewed as good things. We will make more post once the school year comes up, Minecraft updates, or if a new system comes out. Speaking of which, the PS vita has many interesting launch games like Little Big Planet. A new Uncharted is due to appear for both the PS3 and the PS vita. Though the PS vita will appear in early in 2012. Ridge Racer is also coming out for the PS vita, so it's nice to see some 3DS titles in the PS vita lineup. So, just wait for more post.